The Power of Validation

In the first post we discussed dialectics, and trying to find the bit of truth in things we don’t necessarily agree with.  When we do this to others, we are doing something called “validating” them and their experience.

Validating does not mean to agree with or condone something. It means simply acknowledging a feeling, experience, or point of view. It is also important to validate ourselves.

Validating yourself is as easy as being in the here-and-now and identifying how you are feeling without using judgmental terms like “bad, stupid, ALL the time, fail, etc.” We could take this a step further by making note of small progresses, or stating how we will improve the situation in the future.

Below are some examples:

Invalidating statement: I always mess up on these papers, I am a failure.
Validating statement 1: I feel sad that there is a mistake on the paper.
Validating statement 2: I feel sad and disappointed that there was a mistake on the paper, mistakes happen and I am going to try and proofread a little longer next time.

For today, try and observe your feelings and make a validating statement about them. As time goes on, this task will get easier! I hope you have a great day!