Saturday, June 25, 2016

The Power of Validation

In the first post we discussed dialectics, and trying to find the bit of truth in things we don’t necessarily agree with.  When we do this to others, we are doing something called “validating” them and their experience.

Validating does not mean to agree with or condone something. It means simply acknowledging a feeling, experience, or point of view. It is also important to validate ourselves.

Validating yourself is as easy as being in the here-and-now and identifying how you are feeling without using judgmental terms like “bad, stupid, ALL the time, fail, etc.” We could take this a step further by making note of small progresses, or stating how we will improve the situation in the future.

Below are some examples:

Invalidating statement: I always mess up on these papers, I am a failure.
Validating statement 1: I feel sad that there is a mistake on the paper.
Validating statement 2: I feel sad and disappointed that there was a mistake on the paper, mistakes happen and I am going to try and proofread a little longer next time.

For today, try and observe your feelings and make a validating statement about them. As time goes on, this task will get easier! I hope you have a great day!


Thursday, June 23, 2016

Welcome to the Awesome World of DBT

Hello everyone! 

Thanks for checking out my blog. This blog will cover many aspects of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). I am a National Certified Counselor working towards licensure in New York. DBT is my go to theory and a theory I truly believe could benefit most people, regardless of their issues. My hope is that whoever reads this blog picks up a skill or two to practice and try and utilize in their lives. 

One of the most commonly asked questions by clients and clinicians alike when they are learning about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is, “what exactly does dialectical mean?” Well, the answer is pretty interesting, especially for those of us who tend to be more black-and-white in our thinking. 

Dialectical is holding two beliefs that are opposite, but true at the same time. Now, I know what you are probably thinking, “what, that can’t happen!” Well, it can! Think about it this way, have you ever felt lonely, but at the same time wanted to be alone? Or, have you ever felt sad about something, but also a bit relieved at the same time? If so, you already have a heads up on understanding dialectics! 

The same goes for communicating with others. It is possible for two people to have equally valid, but different beliefs at the same time. For today, I would like you to pay attention to this when talking with others. Instead of getting stuck in having the only right opinion or point of view, look for that shred of truth your friend, family member, or colleague might have and go with it. You will find that this makes communication much less challenging. 
      
I hope you have an awesomely dialectical and mindful day!